revrannulf

being myself the best way I can

Archive for the month “January, 2012”

bouncing words

They arrive at the most innoportune times… bouncing words.

Never few though sometime quite choice, they arrive; words that carom about after rising from the cold dark realms outside of our hearts.

It’s not an issue of ears unless selective. Rather it’s an attitude of heart that disallows, mishears and reacts to the words that bounce.

Oh… they are heard, those bouncing words. Late, misdefined, skewed, tired, malevolent or sometime just innocuous in the extreme.

Bouncing words… crashing into hearts which break all too easily, careening against emotions fragile and raw from exposure, into the psyche of logic as yet unperceived… only to rise again later as inertial goads toward a malicious return – echoing back toward their source…

Or bouncing words – of love, stuttered and bumbled through; words innocent of malice yet without adequate foundation or appreciation… lost in space words looking for a surface from they can geometrically be directed toward a waiting listener…

May the words in your world bounce in laughter and bright joy when they recoil into the awareness of those to whom you speak, people you love, people you long to include in your innermost hidden and fragile self.

Perhaps bouncing words may be more effectively spoken and heard in the form of understanding and persistent hugs – whether in the form of actual arms or in the shape of kind thoughts of lovers and caring people from afar.

May you disallow bouncing words prior to the moments they would spring from your tongue – aiming more carefully, hearing more kindly, alwats ready to manage the rebounds and score the higher goals.

And the breath goes on…

I’ve known for a long time that there must be connections in life

To connect with someone is to allow for the opportunity that change might occur

Connection is the risk one takes in order the breathe the air another has inhaled

I can’t live in little boxes or stale closets or closed environments

There is within me a need for space, openness, a reached for touch of someone’s passing atmosphere

The air, the free breeze, the wind, the ruach, the hope of a moving tendril of freedom…

It would be easier to have no connections

But then I wouldn’t breathe

It’s loud in this quiet room…

You’d think that the quiet room in a house would be, well… quiet.

Perhaps that would make sense if the conversations, plans, and ruminations in my head weren’t quite so loud.

An inner guitar guy is trying to find just the right vibe and the amp is set on 11.

A tactile, tapping, improvising keyboard player is trying to find his inner Keith Jarrett.

The lover/lonely guy is sending loud vibes of need toward his partner/wife/friend.

Memories of a thousand loud smiles of daughters are clattering about in the shadows of my every waking moment.

And then there’s the constant whisper coming from the big circumstance, calling, calling…

Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised that the quiet room is a bit noisy.

She’s laughing again!!

It’s always music to hear the laughter coming from her corner of the room…

Simple things make me smile – and her laughter is simple in a complex way…

The timbre, pitch, and amplitude of her chuckle can draw me to her far more quickly than a magnet…

A lodestone is my lover, and I will be… be her iron…

Ain’t nothin’ like the present..?

Is it a box or is it duration or a blending of both? 

Blogging…  Begging… Believing… Blather… 

And so, it begins again…

and I wait for the future,

while livng in the present,

having gone through the past.

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